夏の後に

Hello! How are you guys?! I havent write a post lately. So many stories happened but maybe I wont write some of them because it better left forgotten... Sometimes I wish I still like I used to be in freshman. I love those days, no drama, no feelings, no hard days, no more tears, just ... me loving my self and kpop. Dimulai dari berita gue dan kiky alfatah (bukan fidkya, red) yang udah nyebar kemana-mana. sumpah kesel banget sama devia nya tapi yaudah sih gue ga terlalu ambil pusing juga. Awalnya gue kira dia nya mau temenan biasa kayak yg lain lain ternyata baper.  Engga, gue ga benci lu kok, cuma ya lebih ke arah temen buat cerita. Gara-gara chatnya ga pernah gue balesin lagi, terus jadi awkward di tutor. Padahal mah yaudah biasa aja -____-  dan dan kemarin pagi pagi dia dateng ke kost an bawa bunga sama dan boneka ini. Ohemji it's grizzly!!!!!! Kemarin kemarin (udah lumayan agak agak lama) pas gue lagi nyari kado ke miniso nemu boneka bare bears, tiga tiga nya lengkap. P

I used to think that love is a poem I write you to the beat of my heart when I receive a text from you I used to think that love births from inside of me when you touch me with your wet fingers so gently I used to think that love is  yelling at you, and then begging you to forgive me, then you forgiving me I used to think that love begins with a story of a Jewish and an Arab coming together, experiencing more similarities with their dishes and curls than differences with their countries and politics I used to think that love is you coming back to me after months of silence, to go down on your knees and thank me for taking you in when you were broken and proud I used to… Now I know that love is forgetting you, love is not wanting you back, love is falling in love again, love is allowing me to feel angry with you, despair about you, hope about us, and then wisdom that it wasn’t you, it will never be you You can leave me. You can tell me you never loved me. You can give me

If you decide to leave someone, know that it won’t be easy. Because losing someone isn’t instant. It happens every morning you wake up thinking of them, and every night you fall asleep missing their warmth. You will lose them over and over again until you are done with it. So, admit to this, knowing it’s okay to leave someone you love. Nostalgia is a liar in how it montages our best memories while omitting our truths, and the truth is, not every experience is meant to last forever. No one is entitled to any part of you for any more time than you comfortable sharing yourself. So be selfish. You are a universe inside of a vessel. And not everyone is worthy of the experience that is you. You are not obligated to keep anyone in your life, so learn to experience fully, and know when to let go. Ans if you decide to stay, let it be a mutual love that keeps you here. Do not sacrifice your own peace for the happiness of another in fear of hurting them. They will hurt

i loved you once i love you do i love you still but time moves a new day always begins with the warmness of the daybreak and another day ends with the coldness of midnight laughter as the calender papers i tore and torn for each and every day that's passed by and i've finally realized about my surrounding how everything had changed and left me behind i see the sky is no longer painted blue but monochrome i see the clouds that're no longer fluffy and white but heavy and mourning i see dawn is no longer red of happiness, but red of something else i don't want to think about i see how every single thing is this world, little by little, bit by bit, with a small step and a slow snail like pace, starting to change right in front of my eyes i loved you once i love you do i love you still but the flowers that once bloomed so prettily, now withered away with tears and regret but the fireflies that once flying around the night garden, had no longer been s

You know.. we just started to talk again yesterday. I was so happy. Talking to him made my day better. Seeing his face after a long time. Telling him how was my day  But something happened in the midway, and maybe he already know. soyea , maybe in the end we are not destined to be together haha. I still love him, though. Just one more poet before I go to sleep, tomorrow will be a tired day --------- You, this is about you I miss your weirdness, you can make me smile anytime and anywhere, but you also can make my heart break anytime and anywhere. I remember years ago, I was waiting for someone, I told myself I will love you in the silent but I did understand that you will never be mine. Yeah I know, we’re just friend. Seeing your smile make me happy. I know you never love me back and that's fine, I love our late night conversations, notification from you and I really love your smile, especially if I was the reason why. For the first time I’m in love with someone like

Halo... Sudah lama ga update yaa. Akhir akhir ini sepertinya terlalu sibuk. Dimulai senin selasa selalu puskesmas dan sorenya ada tutor hari selasa, bener-bener nguras waktu dan tenaga. Gapapa sih tapi.. tapi rabu jumat sabtu minggu jadi kosong banget jadi ga enak sendiri dan bosan di kosan. Dan gue bikin kerjaan lagi. Pas lagi ngetik di kasur gue taruh kacamata dan ke toilet. Pas balik gue lupa dan gue dudukin kacamatanya... Serta merta patah lah dia. Kacamata ada 3 patah semua ya Allah ;( akhirnya kemarin beli lagi. Duit q u____u Gue daftar jadi panitia BIBMC nih. Acara 2 tahun sekali yg di adain di Jabar. Besok selasa ng LO prof juro sakai dari Todai bareng dr eko bakal jemputnke soetta. Sebenernya males banget jauh tapi ya gapapa pengalaman. Kapan lagi kenal prof dari todai  😂😂 rabu kamis nya tgl 3&4 bakal stay di aryaduta hotel. Juga jadi panitia. Tapi kayaknya aku bakal presentasi gantiin dr rini. Bareng ada teh neni juga. Yey. Ngomong ngomong gue ada cerita huhu sedih