Love letter, for you

So we are officially a memories..

There is no use dwelling in the past..

Ah lagu ini aku puter seharian.

Yes.. the lyrics says it all. We are officially a memories. He doesnt want to comeback anymore. My friend tell me maybe he just got new gf. And I just should move on. Long long before. But what do they know? It was us againts the world. 

I shouldnt write this but I remember every moments we spent in the past.

Our first meeting, it was two years ago. 

Kita satu tutor. I havent heard your name before. But the moment I saw you, It was love at first sight. But I denied it, because some people I had crush before, turned that I hate them, because I have expectation on them.

Day by day, we exchanged with some chat althought just small chat. But it bring such big feeling for me. And last day of term we studied together at DD for OSCE. And we made pinky promise, telling each other little secret.

I fell so hard that time.

I couldnt bring myself to chat you first because I dont know whether I disturb you or not. But I hoped you will talk to me, about anything. We got into small argument when I posted my photo and dyka, and you ignored me. I didnt know you liked me. dyka told me everything before you even confessed. I knew it before, sorry.

And my birthday come. You send me some congratulations. I was so happy my day gets better.

And on march 30, 2017, we watched a movie and ate. You confessed. I couldn't think clearly because I never had any boyfriend before. But I still say yes, because I still want to be with you.

Everyday, my day get better and colorfull and you brought out my self I didnt know I had it before. I never feel delighted otherwise. You are a gift God gave me. I never felt I could enjoy my life like this before. I love you so much it hurts when we got into arguments and we broke up at 18th august in the same year. 

And everyday after that day I spent depressedly. I could smile and laugh with others but it just mask. Everytime I alone, the only thing I did was cry. And hearing you got back to your previous gf hurt so much. And that girlfriend told me everything you said is the same as you told her. But I didnt angry. I still love you otherwise.

And we got back together at 24th of march 2018. I tell you everything how I was when you werent with me. You told me the same. Day by day went, and our love grew stronger. I loved you so badly and I think it will hurt as hell if you left.

And that day finally came. You left and didnt want to comeback. I left alone. I am mess. I couldnt finish my work. I would just stare blankly at my laptop. I read nothing at my tab, I think about you everywhere. Going back home, movies, college, when I took a bath, when I am going to sleep, listening to love songs, when I eat in the previous place we went, everything point toward you, and it kills my self.

Sometimes I wonder, the almost two years we spent together, did you really mean it? Did you really love me? Our little secrets, the I love you's and Good night's, I miss those times.

I hope I can move on, because I believe you are. You have so many girlfriends before, and it was easy for you, haha. 

This love is too much, like you said.

Thank you for all the times you were there. I only can talk really honest about myself only to you, never other person, because I trust you so much.

I love you so much I must let you go.